Jealousy Vent

I shouldnt be jealous.. right? I mean like- we're not dating- we arent a thing- we dont even like eachother in that way- i dont love you but i do in a way? platonic overly clingy feelings for a best friend ig- I mean, it rlly hurt when you chose me over your gf even tho i have all the proof in the world to say that they're a terrible person and you still chose them, you've gotten so distant and ig i was jealous, but i was more mad than jealous rlly- She called me a bad slur and even threatened me- but- now im confused.. idk why im confused- i shouldnt be confused- or jealous- its your choice-- i dont know how we've gotten so distant as bsfs, it just happened, ig its when you started talking about them for days on end, its like i was your waiting buddy- you never came to talk to me just to talk to me- you only talked to me when she wasnt on.. you rlly fucked up our friendship, and after seeing true colors, i DON'T want it back.